My last Life Lately post was in May. Here’s a little bit of what’s been going on with me since then. This post will be more reflective than others from this series. Can you tell by this cringey photo of me from when I was about 16 or 17?
Past the First Quarter
I turned twenty-six on August 12th. I still feel quite young, but the way my life has played out, man, I also feel really old. I’m light-years away from where I was five years ago. Back then, I feel like I was completely lost and just didn’t know how to cope with responsibility. I didn’t want to wrap my head around the idea of growing up, but I had to and thank God I did. And wouldn’t you know, just when I did that, my life started to fall back into a path I thought I’d never walk on again.
For the sake of maintaining a level of discretion with the aspects of my life that I share online, I don’t want to delve into it all, but I just want to say one thing: God is amazing. When you think you’ve lost your way, you’re really only being guided back to where you need to be. Trust Him.
I don’t know what it was about this birthday that made me so, for the lack of a better word, emo. I think I was just feeling sentimental, ultra-reflective, like I was coming to terms with the fact that I’ve basically come of age. I feel I’m at a point in my life where I’m beginning to align my attitudes and beliefs while being truly unapologetic about it. I’ve always tried to live my purpose, my truth, but I always felt somewhat insecure about expressing them. Now, frankly, I don’t give a damn.
Everything is connecting. The dots have been in front of me all of my life, and I’m now just starting to understand how each point has led me to another. None of my mistakes were ever real mistakes. None of my circumstances were punishments. Everything has sort of just been a domino effect that eventually brought me to another end of the table where I can choose to pick up the pieces or just let them lay there. I choose to let them lay there, like I choose to have no regrets. However, I also choose to bring in another set of dominoes.
Soundtrack to My Life
Okay, on a lighter note, I spent a little bit of time putting together a playlist I can come back to every now and then. Most of the songs bring me back to a place where I feel like I didn’t have to worry about much. Some songs really hold no meaning to me other than I remember hearing them from my childhood. Others are songs that remind me of a certain age. I like to think that I’ve led a really carefree and happy life despite any hurdles and obstacles I’ve had to jump over. These songs remind me of who I was and, quite possibly, who I’ll always be.