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Life Lately 005: On a Coming of Age of Sorts

My last Life Lately post was in May. Here’s a little bit of what’s been going on with me since then. This post will be more reflective than others from this series. Can you tell by this cringey photo of me from when I was about 16 or 17?

Past the First Quarter

I turned twenty-six on August 12th. I still feel quite young, but the way my life has played out, man, I also feel really old. I’m light-years away from where I was five years ago. Back then, I feel like I was completely lost and just didn’t know how to cope with responsibility. I didn’t want to wrap my head around the idea of growing up, but I had to and thank God I did. And wouldn’t you know, just when I did that, my life started to fall back into a path I thought I’d never walk on again.

For the sake of maintaining a level of discretion with the aspects of my life that I share online, I don’t want to delve into it all, but I just want to say one thing: God is amazing. When you think you’ve lost your way, you’re really only being guided back to where you need to be. Trust Him.

Dominoes

I don’t know what it was about this birthday that made me so, for the lack of a better word, emo. I think I was just feeling sentimental, ultra-reflective, like I was coming to terms with the fact that I’ve basically come of age. I feel I’m at a point in my life where I’m beginning to align my attitudes and beliefs while being truly unapologetic about it. I’ve always tried to live my purpose, my truth, but I always felt somewhat insecure about expressing them. Now, frankly, I don’t give a damn.

Everything is connecting. The dots have been in front of me all of my life, and I’m now just starting to understand how each point has led me to another. None of my mistakes were ever real mistakes. None of my circumstances were punishments. Everything has sort of just been a domino effect that eventually brought me to another end of the table where I can choose to pick up the pieces or just let them lay there. I choose to let them lay there, like I choose to have no regrets. However, I also choose to bring in another set of dominoes.

Soundtrack to My Life

Okay, on a lighter note, I spent a little bit of time putting together a playlist I can come back to every now and then. Most of the songs bring me back to a place where I feel like I didn’t have to worry about much. Some songs really hold no meaning to me other than I remember hearing them from my childhood. Others are songs that remind me of a certain age. I like to think that I’ve led a really carefree and happy life despite any hurdles and obstacles I’ve had to jump over. These songs remind me of who I was and, quite possibly, who I’ll always be.

 

Are you a grown-up yet?

13 Comments

  1. Having a responsibility of taking care of your brothers (we’re in an apartment because it’s nearer on our schools) and managing our finances is quite hard and also, sharing the heaviness of producing money for our family is making me pray to God a lot. For a 17-year old like me, I should never worry these things but I know God has a purpose and I think it’s to make me prepared on what I will face after finishing college (I’m a third-year college student). Being emo at times is quite good.haha. I also have the same pose on a photo of mine and it’s cute too.haha

    God Bless!
    Jan Limark |Brotherly Creative

  2. You look good on that photo naman! Nothing to be ashamed of! 🙂

    I only consider myself a grown up because I got responsibilities on my shoulder that no one else would do for me. I got bills to pay, I have to feed myself, etc. But other than that I believe I’m still young, that I still don’t know a lot of things!

    I recently turned 25 and when I thought I’ve overcome quarter-life crisis, I was wrong. There’s still a part of it. I was still a little confused. But as you said, I trust God. So far He’s been giving me and my family such blessings that sometimes I’m afraid this happiness would turn to sadness, but I just trust God, that He wouldn’t give this to us if we don’t deserve it.

    (Super) belated happy birthday, Shayne! Haha I wish you all the best!

  3. I totally have cringey photos of me, especially being “emo” and “goth”. It’s so funny. I’m so cute and so are you 😀 Great music mixtape ^^

  4. Life has a funny way of bringing us to where we’re supposed to be. I am only 21, I still have a lot to learn about life and I certain than in five years when I will look back I will see a major change. Everything changes, day by day and we grow up because of our experiences. I never regretted a thing, because I always thought that anything you do, no matter how it turns out, it’s gonna teach you something.

    It’s like you said, everything is like a domino. All our actions are linked together and who we are in the present depends of our past.

    • I totally agree, Cristina! Although, at the time I may have regretted (or even resented myself for) certain decisions, everything eventually works out one way or another. 🙂

  5. I think it’s interesting you feel young and old at the same time. I feel the same, but lately I feel more ancient. Age is but a number, but sometimes that’s hard to digest . . . I do miss my 20s, though, and wish I could go back to it!

    • I literally feel like I’m knocking on 40, but I’m still here making the most of what is left of my twenties! @_@

  6. God truly is amazing! I don’t want to assume I know everything about your life when I wasn’t even a part of half of it, but I know you’ve been through a lot. Things seem to be doing great for you, so that alone is a reason to celebrate and be grateful!

    Huhuhu I love your playlist! Naka-relate ako!

    On an unrelated note, my brother turns 26 today, and I have no idea what he thinks of this. Hahaha! All I know is that I was gearing up to get married when I was his (your) age! 😮

    • Hahaha I didn’t know your brother was around my age! Well, if he’s anything like me, he’s probably feeling like age is catching up to him haha! I still remember reading your post-wedding blogs on WP.com and watching your wedding video. It was so beautiful!

      • Girl, you’re only two weeks apart. Hahaha! I don’t think he has it all figured out, but I’m really proud that at 26, he’s pretty responsible with his finances. If I hadn’t been engaged to get married at 26, I’d say he’s doing a better job than I did! Hahaha!

        Gosh, we’ve known each other that long?! Thank you, Yen! 🙂

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