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#INSECURITIES: About Sharing My Life Online

I started becoming active in the blogging community when I was about twelve or thirteen-years-old. I don’t exactly remember when it happened, but I’ve been at this on and off for as long as I can remember having access to the online world. I think we can all agree, or at least come to a consensus, that internet as a medium has changed. We’re part of the generation that realized how valuable it is to be able to share information across different channels and, for the most part, we’ve taken great advantage of that.

In recent years, there’s been a shift within the blogging community and the internet as a whole. It’s such a vast creative outlet and source of information that it’s also become a rat race to get as much exposure as possible. We’re exposed to viral stories and, quite honestly, the mundane parts of life that didn’t matter for us to share back then can now become headline news. Every now and then I wonder about how much of myself I’m willing to share in such a connected, fast-paced world. And, as a blogger, I question just what my role is in all of it.

img_2327Does this mean that I’m…fake?

Β Wait! I’m not instaready.

There’s a certain aesthetic we’ve come to see more often as social media continuously becomes ingrained in our daily lives. I remember taking photographs early on in my first personal blogs. I kept things as they were. I really didn’t think about making anything prettier than it was or fixing a zit that was visible in a profile picture.

Perhaps that was because I didn’t have the tools back then, but I honestly don’t think I even thought about it. I don’t think that I was too focused on capturing moments back then, because in those days we were all quite present in what was happening. We weren’t about Facebook statuses or tweets yet. We didn’t give a damn about what anyone was eating for dinner or who anyone was with and were they were hanging out. Honestly, there was a level of anonymity we could keep back in those much more simple days.

Now, it’s a ritual for us when we get together with friends and family to post about what is happening. Not just that, but to make sure our adventures are good enough to share. Speaking for myself, I’m guilty of tweaking photos on VSCO, patching up a blemish on Facetune, and cropping out the less eye-catching parts of a photo. Do we value experiences less if we don’t get a picture-perfect moment? Is it wrong for me to patch up my zits? Does this mean that I’m, for a lack of a better word, fake?

I’m a little fish in a vast ocean, with schools of fish, all following the same current.

Am I really a blogger?

I’ve said it before; I’m not very good at being a blogger. In terms of what that title has become over the years, I’m not there. I don’t feel obligated to make content, even though I should, and I still try to do this whole thing for myself. But numbers, how many people are actually sticking around, how many aren’t, all of that gets to me.

I want to, on some level, stay relevant and help people in some way. I want to contribute. I want to be a part of this community, but it’s increasingly difficult to have your voice heard. I also want to be as organic as possible with what I share. As corny as it may sound, I want my posts to come straight from the heart. I don’t want to feel bound to making content but I also can’t stand the thought of losing the connections I’ve made through blogging. With what blogging has become, I sometimes wonder if it’s still suitable for me to call this an outlet for my personal narratives. Is this still the appropriate place for that?

img_2328-3Do people think this is weird, childish, or are they genuinely curious about what all of this is?

I don’t think anyone will ever “get me.”

It’s hard to fit in when you know have to explain something that, simply, makes you stand out. Sure, there’s a lot of us — bloggers — but what we actually do isn’t very well understood in the real world.Β I find myself as reluctant about sharing what I do online as I am about what I actually share online.

Sometimes, I even [awkwardly] avoid answering any questions or references to blogging — like the conversation isn’t even happening. It’s just one of those conversations I really can’t gauge. Do people think this is weird, childish, or are they genuinely curious about what all of this is? Most of the time, I give people the benefit of a doubt. For all I know, their frame of reference for blogging is still from 2002. So, maybe they do want to know how it’s evolved.

But, honestly, I feel like I spill my soul when I start talking about blogging. It’s such a huge part of my life. When I think about it, I’ve been doing this for almost half of my life now. I’ve been letting people from all over the world into my life, yet I’m so closed off to those I actually meet outside of the inner circle I’ve found online. I’m still trying to find the balance between Shayne Blogs and Shayne IRL.

Do you have any insecurities with sharing your life online?


  1. I enjoyed reading this blog post, Shayne! I used to take gazzilion of selfies before but I stopped doing that because social media has become an outlet for overly judgemental people that they relate selfies to being vain. I have a weak heart for judgements that’s why I avoid talking about things which will make me vulnerable to bashing.

    The truth is, I’m still not used to calling myself a blogger. I recently opened my blog to my offline friends and I love how interested they are with what I do. But it also makes me uncomfortable when they tell me that I get a lot of money through my blog, which is not the case. This is a hobby I enjoyed doing for 8 years now, even for free. Also, one of the reasons why it took me a long time to open my blog to my offline friends is, I’m afraid my blog won’t meet today’s definition of blogging. Becuase I feel like I’m still blogging in 2008, it’s very personal to me and I’m still not into that level of aiming my article to be viral and such. I want my blog to represent my true authentic self.

    • Thank you for reading, Dianne! I completely agree, our blogs should be 100% who we are!! πŸ™‚

  2. I enjoyed reading this Shayne πŸ™‚ It’s refreshing to read something so genuine. I agree that it’s becoming hard to be relevant and to get your voice heard, especially now that everyone seems to have a blog. Haha. For me, I try to not be too obsessed with the number of followers or whether people stick around. I use my blog to document the highlights of life, just in case I’d like to have a trip on memory lane when I’m old. Haha. But I agree, sometimes it gets embarrassing when people IRL label me as a blogger, because I don’t really consider my self as one. Whatever “blogger” means these days.

    • Chrizzia! I was wondering where your blog had gone! Thanks so much for reading and commenting. πŸ™‚

      I’m okay with being called a blogger, but I don’t know if that really fits me. But I supposed it is what it is!

  3. I do have a hard time fitting in, in this world full of judgements. It’s like there’s no other place where we can be ourselves. I take precaution on blogging/sharing things online because there might be some people we know in real life who might be reading or stalking our blog, most especially our enemies. In the past I encountered some people who have issues on selfies, always bashing people that they only look good due to filters. Like the hell is your problem, it’s our photo and not yours so why mind !

  4. Although it seems that I share almost everything on my blog, I still keep a portion of my personal life to myself. That is primarily because Roan reads my blog, and I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable about the things I put out there in the public domain. That’s just like a recipe for disaster.

    Since I’ve willed myself to miss out on a lot of things online, and try to stay present and in the moment, I’ve stopped nursing my insecurities. I don’t think I’ll be around here longer, especially once we’ve started our own family, but I’ll just make the most of what I can offer for now. I’ve accepted the fact that I won’t stay relevant (if I ever was) forever to most people other than my friends. πŸ™‚

    • I’m going to be sad when you stop blogging. πŸ™ But I know that you’re only one text away and you’re going to be on my Christmas shopping list every year, just get used to me. Okay? haha πŸ™‚

      I feel the same way. I’ll be irrelevant (even more so) eventually but blogging has been such a HUGE part of my life. I’ve been online for literally half my life now, I don’t know if I’ll ever get away from it for good but I know that I’ll eventually won’t be as active. Real life is a lot more fun, to be honest, and blogging just helps me highlight the better/best moments.

      • Why, of course! πŸ˜‰

        Real life is a lot more fun, to be honest, and blogging just helps me highlight the better/best moments.
        Couldn’t have said it any better! Documenting every detail of your life can be exhausting at some point, too, that you no longer keep some of the more important things to yourself anymore.

  5. Same as yours. But I gave up on doing things just for aesthetic purposes. I edit photos on VSCO as well, but I stopped checking if it fits in on my feed or not. Another insecurity is that maybe people think I’m bragging when I share things online. I’ve heard of relatives say things about my recent travels and purchases and I haven’t gotten the skill to shake it off yet. Or maybe that’s their insecurity, not mine.

    Like you, I also haven’t had the balance between who I am IRL and what’s on my blog working. I mean, it’s still me on my blog but it’s more of a filtered version and I don’t share everything – even in my other social media sites. I guess there’s this bridge between the two worlds for me and I get awkward when asked what blogging is so I mostly shrug it off.

    • I’m still trying to find a balance, and I feel like I’m getting used to people knowing about me blogging. My friends seem supportive about it and genuinely interested in what I do on the side. I’m still quick to change the subject, but I feel like I can take on all the questions now if the focus of the conversation doesn’t change. But eventually, I hope the two worlds can coexist.

  6. I don’t have insecurities per se, but I don’t feel like I have to share everything now? I mean, honestly if I were to really put myself online, I’d be complaining 24/7, and . . . that’s not something I want to project necessarily?! I mean, I vent on my Twitter, but I try not to do it . . . often, and I really try to avoid doing that on my blog if I can . . .

    Anyway, like you, I think I’m more open online, but I know I am not as opened IRL unless I can trust and like you, which is probably a normal feeling. But there are some things I blog about that I don’t always talk about to people IRL. Like unless I know you’re into video games like Final Fantasy, I won’t bring it up, but but online we tend to share titbits like that.

    But while I’m more open online, I also try to be careful of what I share. There are just some things that doesn’t need to be shared online or offline, and it’s important to know the appropriate topics . . .

    • Oh, Tara! I think you and I will get along so well once we finally meet. I’m still pushing for a trip to Seoul within this year, but with what our plans are this summer it might not happen. πŸ™ I’ll keep obsessing over the thought of it and maybe I’ll be there in the winter! I’m sure I can handle the cold. πŸ™‚

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