The Book of Questions 002

Do your close friends tend to be older or younger than you?

Most of my closest friends are around my age, give or take, a year older or a year younger. My best friend is about a year younger than me, well eight-months younger.

A good friend pulls off a well-conceived practical joke that plays on one of your foibles and makes you look ridiculous. How would you react?

I would probably flip sh*t! But at the same time, knowing my friends, they’d probably do something like that to make me realize that “it’s not that serious.” I think we all really try to bring out the best in us and help each other overcome our insecurities. Because, you know, that’s what grown-up friendships are. D’awww.

How forgiving are you when your friends let you down?

So you can understand my thoughts on this, I have to add some context to why I feel the way that I do. I had a really horrible annoying thing happen to me in middle school where these girls, who I thought were my “friends,” tried to blame something on me that I didn’t do. Basically, it was like Mean Girls. Someone had a burn book — online on Asian Avenue, mind you — and said that I’d been the one who posted all of these malicious comments about people I knew. Apparently someone said I was online on AIM the same time this person was on Asian Avenue [hahaha] but the only problem with that was we didn’t have internet at our house back then. They literally, verbally attacked me in the school cafeteria with print-outs of this page I never even knew of and a photo of me posted on that page, which the photo was taken from the yearbook and if it really was me, I would’ve chosen a cuter one TBH. Anyways…

The school personnel ended up finding out who really did it, they told me who it was, and I never told anyone else. I figured that the person who did this had something else going on with them, that they needed to just grow up and realize what they did was wrong. I’m thinking that after all of these years, she did do just that. From the outside looking in I can tell she grew up to be a really good person, seeing the kind of work that she does.

To this day though, I don’t associate with most of those girls. I see some of them every now and then, and I’ve actually become civil with at least one of them who apologized to me in high school. In that sense, I guess I’m just not a very forgiving person unless someone admits their wrongs or we have a decent conversation about our sides of the story. I’ve learned to just let people go if they’ve done something to lose my trust.


What are some of your thoughts on friendship?


This blog series takes and answers questions from The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, PhD.

15 thoughts on “The Book of Questions 002”

  1. I also have almost the same experience in highschool, when I thought these people are my friends, but I discovered they’re backstabbing me. It was the worst phase of my school life and I’m glad that transferring to a new school is a good decision my parents made, even without knowing how I was doing with friends in school. I had better friends there and I realized I don’t need all those drama. I am also civil to them, and I don’t talk that much when I see them.

    With my friends right now, they’re around 20-30 years old, and I’m like, in the middle. Haha I don’t know why I have that range of friends, maybe because of work, or the people I’m with in the dorm before who are younger than me.

    This book of questions series is really good! I happen to stumble to this one whenever I visit your blog haha

  2. I agree that girls tend to be . . . mean. I think that’s why I don’t get along with most of my female co-workers. Of course there are other aspects like cultural differences and age differences, but I generally always got along better with guys, so I’m usually talking to my male co-workers more.

    But damn to what happened to you X_X I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.

    My best friend is also around the same age as me ๐Ÿ™‚ She’s about ten months older, but we were in the same grade, even though she is supposed to be one grade older than I, but I’m glad we’re the same grade! Otherwise, we’d may have never become friends!

    1. My best friend and I met outside of school. If she hadn’t dated one of my (then) closer guy friends, we wouldn’t have met to be honest hahaha! But even though they didn’t last, I gained a life long friend in her! Now all of her suitors/wannabe boyfriends go through me!

  3. That must have been horrible ๐Ÿ™ I wouldn’t be able to deal with that sort of stress and aggravation and I hate being accused of things I didn’t do. I’m sorry, girl ๐Ÿ™ I had bad experiences with friends and them fighting over a guy. I even had a big immature moment fighting over a older guy. He was creepy, but then again, I eventually dated him when I was older. Big mistake. :/ Luckily, he apologized for being a big douche.

    1. I hated being caught in the middle in those types of situations. I’ve never fought over a guy, but I’ve seen it between my friends. I’ve even been given an ultimatum to choose between my friend and her ex-boyfriend, I was friends with both! I thought it was ridiculous that I had to choose, I wasn’t part of their drama! But in the end, it all worked out and we’re all friends.

  4. Damn, Yen, I’m sorry you had to go through all that Mean Girls fiasco. I certainly thing you didn’t deserve it, but I know the experience made you a better person! I speak from experience because I was bullied ONCE by a boy, who’s a year older than me in school. He made me eat balls of paper on our ride home (in a school bus), and it took me a while to tell Mom about it. When I did, she literally stormed off to school the next day to call him out, and she made him apologize to me in front of school officials. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    1. What in the world?! Balls of paper?!!!! Kids are so ridiculous and mean and if anyone ever did that to my kid I’d be doing the same thing as your mom! Except, I’d probably find his parents, too! It would be like a teleserye scene with all the kapit bahays egging us on! hahaha

  5. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that with your so-called friends. It honestly sounds like they weren’t your friends in the first place. People who love you would never hurt you intentionally.

    I tend to be older (and way taller T__T) than my friends. /o/

    1. I’m glad I learned that side of them early on, when we were still kids. If I hadn’t I don’t think I would’ve become friends with the people I have now. It all goes without saying, I guess, but everything happens for a reason. ๐Ÿ™‚

      You do look really tall in your outfit photos!!

      1. Funny I told Raisa the same thing before! That she looked very tall in her outfit photos! /o/ << HAHAHA I love emoticon/emoji/whatchamacallit??

  6. This is a really interesting series, Shayne! ๐Ÿ™‚ I agree with this (VERY MUCH): “Iโ€™ve learned to just let people go if theyโ€™ve done something to lose my trust.” I’ll wait for the next post (PS: I miss being here! Haha! I think I want to have this kind of post soon hehe)

  7. I also had a bad experience with “friends”. In high school, there were these girls that were my “servicemates” so my best friend and I were chatting and talking with them once in a while – travel to school is an hour long. Then, after a few months, they started talking crap about “some people” who’s trying hard to fit in their circle. When the service was full, they decided it was the time to tell us that we were the ones they were talking about – despite being friendly with us and not giving us a hint that something was wrong! I was so pissed and embarassed – mostly embarassed. I basically ignored them the rest of the schoolyear because hey, if they don’t want to be friends with me and are basically plastics (ala mean girls, lol), then fine. They never asked for forgiveness or cleared the air, but I’m over it. I haven’t forgotten about it, though.

    I guess that’s how I am with most of my friends. I have to be able to trust them and they have to be someone who’s willing to admit their mistakes or whatnot (and vice versa with me to them). If not, then I cut them off because I really don’t need toxic people in my life. Lesson learned and all, haha!

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