If you’ve followed me long enough for the short lifespan of this blog, you know that I often recollect the past. It keeps me grounded, in a sense, and it helps me measure how far certain aspects of my life have come. I don’t tend to use all my reflections as a way to see how much I’ve grown, but naturally it becomes that way in some instances. I guess it’s an annual ritual that’s important for me — to look back before I move forward.
Coming into the year, I’d become a lot more assertive than I’d ever been. So with that, 2015 became a year where I made a lot of really abrupt decisions. Okay, not so abrupt. I just said ‘yes’ to a lot of things I would have stayed away from a few years ago. I felt like I put myself in this box filled with my circumstances and used those as my shield from experiencing life. Pro tip: don’t ever do that to yourself. You, what you can do, are not of your circumstances.
I think also that there was this bit of fear I hadn’t gotten over yet. I felt like I was under a microscope and that there were people from the outside looking in, dissecting every part of me. There’s a point, and this is going to sound cliche, that you just have to stop caring about what people think. The only people you should truly care about is yourself, your family, and the friends who feel like family. When I let go of all of that doubt and fear, I was able to finally do some things I thought were impossible. I went back to school. I started traveling alone. I went to China; I climbed and danced on the Great Wall. I rediscovered who I’ve always been and want to keep being. I’ve learned that this whole world is full of wonder, and it’s a shame to feel stuck where we are.
What can suck the most about life is that our decisions tend to box us in. We unknowingly limit ourselves to our circumstances, and that’s all well and good until you realize you’re not meant to live life that way. At least for me, I know I can’t live life that way. There’s a drive in all of us that shouldn’t ever be stifled. We cut ourselves short when we realize what we’re passionate about, yet we don’t do anything to nurture those dreams. It’s tragic, and I can’t live life always thinking about what could have been.
What I’ll take the most from this year, that I should have known a long time ago, is that anything is possible. There’s a point where we have to stop wishing ourselves out of our circumstances, get on the ball, and do something about it. The universe works in mysterious ways once you start verbalizing what you want from it. From there, you can make anything happen.
Here’s to 2015, one of my best years yet. I hope you’ve had a wonderful year, let’s start 2016 off right! What are you looking forward to?