There are tons of things happening right now! I am too busy for my own good, but hey! What else is new? But I am human and I honestly can’t always keep track. Recently, I’ve started to feel the stress. I try not to let it get to me, but my gosh there’s way too much going on!
So I’m doing more moving, but instead of hosts, I’m moving IRL. Lol. It all came like a mad dash, really. Last week Shawn, Kaien and I went to go see a new place. It’s a lot bigger than where we are now. It’s a duplex, so it’s a step up from a condominium/apartment I guess. But before I could take in how amazing the new place is, we were approved; put down a security deposit; and we’re moving in next week. Talk about fast times. It’ll be a good move: closer to my parents, closer to work, closer to Kaien’s school. He’ll be much less tired in the mornings. Instead of a long drive to school, all we’ll have to do now is cross the street. I’m just glad we found a place near the neighborhood I grew up in (less than 5 minutes from my parents’ house/house I grew up in!). I am biased, but I will say it’s the last good side of town! It’s quiet, tons of families, trails, better parks, lakes on lakes on lakes, the outdoors everywhere! Totally where I need to be!
I am finally able to see some progress in my degree audit. If someone would have told me last year that I could actually make good grades while working full-time and balancing everything else, I would have laughed and called them stupid. I mean, come on! Who does this to themselves? Who works 40+ hours a week and goes to school M-F for at least 4 hours at a time. If you’re wondering, no I don’t sleep. I don’t actually know if I’m sleeping or just napping in between days. It’s whatever though, I’m used to this kind of schedule and I like this “routine.” It will all be over soon and I’ll be doing something that feels extremely meaningful and worth it — let’s hope.
If you didn’t know, I do some writing on the side. I signed on for an online magazine earlier in the year, I’m also pretty active on the freelance end (at least now). I didn’t really know what I was going to do with the rest of my time sarcasm so I, y’know, needed to fill it up. I actually like getting assigned projects that are outside of the realm that I’m used to at my 9-5 job. I never feel like I have writer’s block anymore because I’m always having to change it up. (They say if you write about the same things over and over, you reach a wall, and bam! Writer’s block!) Although, I would like to be much more on top of the projects I’m assigned. I think it’s getting to a point that my real life job is getting in the way of my other work or the other way around. I don’t know what I want.
Aaand that leads me to the final thing on my list…
I don’t know where I heard job-dead or if I made it up. I do weird shit like that so, whatever. Anyways, I wrote earlier this week that I’ve started to feel under-utilized. I honestly feel like I lose brain cells every time I walk into the office. I do love my job and being part of a program that has such an underrated impact on people’s lives, but I really don’t think I belong where I am. It’s taken me a really long time to figure it out, I mean who’s an undergrad for almost a decade? I’m starting to think that I need to put in some sort of notice that I’ll be leaving. I just need to be settled and completely okay with where I’ll end up regardless of how difficult a transition that might be. However, good timing is the biggest lie in life. It simply doesn’t exist. So, I just need to suck it up, be a big girl and do it before I completely lose myself in something I feel is becoming to mundane and not fostering any growth. I don’t want to be stuck. I don’t want to be comfortable.
What’s stressing you out?