In my life, I think a number of people misunderstand me. I’m much more comfortable alone, in my own thoughts, away from the conversation. When I do join in, sometimes I’m lively, most times I come off in a less lovable light. I’m honest to myself about that. I don’t think that a lot of people in my life, who may have been around for years but aren’t so close to me, know who I really am and how I came to be this way.
This struck me the other day when a friend was over and said, “I call you ghost woman. You’re either asleep or mad.” This irked me. If I was always asleep, then I wouldn’t be making moves in life and I wouldn’t be where I am. If I was always mad, I wouldn’t know how to be joyful about the little things. But, as always, I let this slide and just went about my day.
What dawned on me is that I never really let this person get to know me. I feel like even if we’ve known each other for almost a decade, he has no idea who I am. I’m just that person who he knows through his close friends. Sure, we’re almost practically family, but does family always know about family?
It wasn’t the first time I heard a comment like that, and I know it won’t be the last. I am sometimes too serious or too closed off, and I admit that this does lead people into making their own conclusions about me. So, today, I want to reflect. I want to give everyone a road map to my personality, just a short excerpt of who I am. This won’t be in depth, but it will let you know why I am so serious about even the smallest occurrences. And, yes. Maybe this will show that I just over analyze a bit too much.